Best results are obtained when used indoors. Squirt liberally with a sweeping motion over a large surface area.
On most carpeted floors, Liquid ASS is not visible and the smell
lasts longer. On tile floors, squirt in the corners to minimize light
reflection. (See illustrations below). A good rule of thumb is to apply
Liquid ASS around the perimeter of the target area or approximately
that same amount spread over the middle area.
Several significant variables will affect the performance of your
Liquid ASS operation. Results will vary due to ventilation, humidity,
room size, and amount applied. In general (95% of the time),
when used indoors with medium ventilation, a third of a bottle will
generate dry-heave-quality stench from one to three hours.
The guidelines given above combine simplicity, effectiveness, and entertainment value. The stench and longevity of Liquid ASS far exceeds that of Stink Bombs and Fart Spray. Liquid ASS is a highly–concentrated, butt–crack smell with hints of green poo, fart, and dead animal. Situations to Avoid
High Ventilation: Within a few minutes of being
applied, Liquid ASS undergoes the evaporation process to permeate the
air with its unique ASS aroma. However, being airborne, Liquid ASS is
subject to the caprices of air movement. So keep this in mind: If the
air is leaving, so is your ASS.
Outdoors: The great outdoors is a super high ventilation situation. See previous point.
Cigarette Smoke: We have found that a lot of
Liquid ASS is necessary to cut through cigarette smoke. Even if
cigarette smoke is not present, cigarette smoke saturated carpet and
fabric soak up Liquid ASS like a sponge and won't let it go. Other Liquid ASS Application Ideas
People: Direct application on the targeted
person: BE CAREFUL! Liquid ASS is silent and the thin stream is hard to
see or feel, but given the circumstances, it is easier to get caught.
But, watching the person walk around smelling like a turd is worth the
patience and effort. Applying Liquid ASS on the intended victim outside
in the rain prior to coming indoors is one way to decrease chances of
detection.
Automobiles: Since cars enclose a small area,
Liquid ASS is extremely effective. The downside is that you will
probably miss most of the reaction which is 50% of the entertainment
value (unless, of course, you are riding in the car enduring the stench
yourself).
We suggest putting some Liquid ASS on a cotton ball and stuffing it
under the seat.
Elevators: Let them ride that ASS (small enclosed areas are perfect).
Door handles: Their hand will smell like they shoved it up Andre the Giant's ass.
Liquid ASS "poo dollar": Possibly a cure for the love of money.
Office chair: Put it on their chair directly; get it on their clothes indirectly.
Telephone receiver: Give them something to talk about.
Birthday balloons: Get the party started by popping an ASS balloon.
Fan: What a breath of fresh ASS (apply to a rag and throw it on the shroud).
Public transportation: Now everyone knows riding the bus stinks.
Office desk: Now the brown-noser smells like the brown (apply around the rear edges).
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